Well, no photos to document the momentous occasion, but I started school this week. Cue the big fat *sigh*. Hmmm, can you put the picture in your mind? Backpack on, in front of the house with lunch in hand, smiling. That was me....Monday. Well I carry a bag not a backpack, and I wasn't smiling, I was running to the bathroom with a nervous tummy, but anyway.....
This semester the plan was to take Microbiology and a General Intro to Nursing course. So Micro is surprisingly super interesting. I know it's going to be tons of work and memorization, but sounds really intriguing. I'll be working with E. Coli and some of those other scary sounding stuff. I'll be all official in a white lab coat and everything.
And then the other class, well the other class I was suppose to start today. And I think I was kinda guilted into dropping it. Actually I was WAY guilted into dropping it. I want to use the 'bully' word even, but I'm kinda sensitive to that word, so I'll stick to guilt. Anyway, the professor went on and on about how if I'm not just about ready to enter the nursing program, I should let someone who is about to enter take my seat. I guess I should point out that she wasn't speaking directly to ME, but to the whole class, but it was someone in my situation she was speaking of. You see, the wait list was about at 20 and many of those were people just about ready to get in to the program...they have or will be shortly applying. (Did I mention that taking this course gives you extra points on your application??) And then you have someone like me who has 2 more courses to take before I can even apply (taking one of them this semester). Anyway, after she pleaded her case, even saying that nursing is about giving and shouldn't I give, she then let those students say why THEY should get it. I left. They even applauded for me. But as I walked out I got tears in my eyes. And then on the car ride home, I was so mad at myself!
You see if I hadn't been so emotional and if I quickly put my thoughts together I would have said: Well, ....I'VE been going to this school for TWO years so far, and it looks like another one and a half before I can even hope to get into the program. Because I am a wife and mom of two awesome and athletic children, and because their homework beckons and I can't imagine not being at their games AND I am extremely focused on getting great grades, I only take one or two courses at a time. I feel like it has taken me a long time already, but I have a plan. And I have had to rewrite this plan many times because this program keeps changing and adding more prerequisites to get in, but I keep rewriting. And in my rewrites I try to see how I can get as many points as possible to assure, to the best I can, I get in the first time I apply to the program. Anyway, I want and need these points too. I REALLY wanted to take two courses this semester. And honestly this is a needed course and it FIT into me and MY FAMILY'S schedule. There were NO prerequisites for this course. I registered and I got in. So please just be a teacher and teach me. That is why I am here.
But I didn't say a word of it. I know in the whole scheme of things this is so not important. I want to go to school to learn and I am learning. But there's some character stuff in here. And to me that's pretty important. So I'll ponder this for a bit and see what it means for me.
Meanwhile, I've emailed another professor pleading to get into a speech course that's already started. I keep checking email to see if she's responded. So far, nothing.
So tomorrow I'm off to the beach with my kiddos and some friends. I'm hoping to take ALL that it has to offer and then in the evening hit the books.
What's that they say??? God grant me the serenity to accept the thing I cannot change. The ability to change the things that I can. And the wisdom to know the difference. Now and forever, amen.
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